Relationship jokes
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”
Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”
Ex-girlfriend: “20!”
Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."
No, a lot's been through you.
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.
Are you a race car?
Cuz I’m tryna fuck.
You are my compass; without you, I’m lost.
"Alex! We need to talk! Now!"
How come yo mama did not come straight home from work last night? Because her daughter had sex with her boyfriend and got drunk.
“In yo mama.”
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because it's all about family!
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!