Relationship jokes
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
I'm adopted :[
One day Jack and Jill went up a hill. Jack got Jill drunk and horny, then took her to a hotel because Jack wanted to suck and lick her candy stick.
What do you call a simp, Adrian?
Noticing how wet and gentle the baby's mouth was on the bottle tip, this gave Uncle Willie an idea.
Memes
Like if you don't have a dad.
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
Roses are red, the grass is greener,
Every time I think of you, I play with my weenie.
Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Duh!"
"Guess what my wife left in the freezer?"
"Her miscarriage."
A boy was following me for 8 years, even into the stall. I finally told him I’m not gay.
Have you ever heard of Jane Doe? Well, her husband's name is Dill, so I guess that makes him a dildo!
Baby, here's my anus.
Baby, too, where's my anus?
God made Adam and Eve.
Satan made Adam and Steve.
What do you call a gay friend?
Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.