Relationship jokes
So um uh I like people who like people who like people.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.
All I have to do is go to the Africa section.
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
You're adopted.
I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.
Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Gina: Ha! YOU HAVE NOTHING!
Orphan: Yes I do.
Gina: What do you have then?
Orphan: Parents.
Gina: LIAR!
Having sex with three people is a threesome.
Having sex with four people is a foursome.
Then maybe I am handsome after all...
Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???
Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?
Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
Are you a horse, because I want to ride you?
I fucked a wall.
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"