Relationship jokes
What's the smallest stick in the world?
Your man's dick.
That's cringe, bro. The ex weas pisitive.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
You will never have a girlfriend.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Memes
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see.
Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
Evan, mom hot?
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
Your family in a nutshell.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."