Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
String Jokes
Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
Why don't midgets use tampons?
Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?
"Wait, I can explain everything!"
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
What’s an orphan’s favorite cereal?
Because it’s the only magical string in his life.
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
So, there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here, so take your drink, mates, and fuck off."
He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense," replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, he's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!" He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink, he opens with, "Say, aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
What type of bow can't be tied?
Rainbow.
"Banjo players spend half their lives tuning... and the other half out of tune."
I'm a banjo picker, and I can confirm this is 99% true.
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
I was in my guitar class and my strings were dead, and then I realized they were more dead than George Bush on November 30, 2018.
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
This whole string is really messed up. Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves. I just heard the audio recording of the crash and it said, "HE'S ON FIRE! BOOM SHAKALAKA!"
What did a
