Relationship jokes

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.

Yo mama so fat, she took both sides of the family.

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

Why can’t orphans be gay?

Because they have no daddy to call.

You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.

Knock knock.

You: Who's there?

Your new father!

Why do orphans want a sugar daddy?

They actually can call someone "daddy!"

Kiwi loves Brad.

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

Kaleb: Addison, are you okay???

Addison: Not at all. People think I'm annoying and stupid! Do you?

Kaleb: Yes, once I pound you in the ass.

I have 25 friends from the alphabet, but don't ask me why.

Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.

You're adopted.

I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.

Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?

Myla: I went to a restaurant.

Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?

Timmy: I went to a concert.

Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?

Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.

Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy."