Relationship jokes

What did the mom say to her house? "I love you"

Girl lol feel dick in mouth on you.

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.

What is sex? You put a sex person in someone’s sex.

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

I walked up to 2 people kissing and stared.

After a little while, they asked me if I minded. I said no, I don’t mind.

Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.

Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?

Because there was no chemistry...

Evan, mom hot?

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.

"We make sexy time, yes, and every night I tap that."

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

"Doin' doin' your mom, doin' doin' your mom."

Colder than the conversation between a fat guy and a Super Model...

Masturbation is better than rough sex.

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"