Relationship jokes
Bros over hos.
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:
Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.
Palestinians leave without saying goodbye.
Israel says goodbye when the Americans say so.
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
What is the difference between the pizza guy and my dad?
The pizza guy shows up when you call him.
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”