Relationship jokes
What is an orphan's least favorite song? We Are Family.
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!
Y'uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job," so she is now leaving until the fall.
Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!!!
Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!
Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!
Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm..... mhmmmmmm..... ummmmm..... hmmmmm.... not a bad idea!
Jarod (🤨): Or not?
Y'uree (🙄): Shut up, man!
Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
That's cringe, bro. The ex weas pisitive.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
Wives are like grenades. Pull the ring, and the house is gone.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Best way to kiss someone is to lick inside their mouth with your tongue a lot of times, and they will really like it, especially me!! - lizard kiss+ french kiss= SloBbY Kiss.
Thanks for learning and getting advice.
Also, don't be such a horny one!
What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?
A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Yo mama so FAT...
That when she had sex with you...
Your balls turned to pancakes.
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
Why do orphans play tennis?
Because it's the only love they get.