Relationship jokes
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You be the 6, I'll be the 9. 😏
“In yo mama.”
I love Bubba girls and yea.
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
When a deaf person has sex, do they use one hand to moan?
My family is like a cactus. They're a bunch of pricks.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
Dad, I love you.
Son, I love you.