Relationship jokes
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
What is the definition of "Endless Love"?
Answer: Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!
What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?
"That rotten asshole split on me again!"
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
I got an iPhone 14 for my brother? That was the best trade I ever made.
Jack & Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy...but Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c0ck cuz Jill's real name was Randy.
Her name was Lola.
She was a loner.
At the Copa.
Then I saw her,
And I got a boner.
The next morning,
She couldn't remember if I banged her.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
"I miss you.
Being happy was never that hard without you..."
Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Your love life.
My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.
Are you a builder? Because you are giving me an erection.
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!