When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.
What did Love name his daughter?
Sweetheart. ♥
She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
Two sticks only make a fire.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.
So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.
What did the dick say to the asshole?
You need another dick.
My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"
The Son: "Because milk is important."
The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"
The Boy: "Who?"
The Man: "Your mom?"
The Boy: "I don't have a mom."
The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."
The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.
So, this woman had a job. She wanted to hang out with her boyfriend, so she lied about having the coronavirus. Then she got out of work. Then she was texting her boss when she thought she was texting her boyfriend. Then she said, "I lied. Now we can...you know...water...sigh...lick...sigh." Then her boss texted, "Ew and YOU'RE FIRED."
One more story: One day this teen named Alexis got kicked out of a house, then went to live with her boyfriend. Then she got pregnant and posted it all on social media.
Why did the guy run because the girl ripped his penis off?
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
I like my boo like I like my packages: straight out of the box.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
