Relationship jokes
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
Are you a plane? Because I wanna be in control of you for a few hours.
Memes
no words
I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Official orgasm donor.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Do you love me?
No, Papa.
#### you!
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
My brother when he sees a girl.
Your mom and your dad.
My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.