Relationship jokes
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
Like if your dad is abusive.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
Denki: Hey, Mineta, I have a joke for you.
Mineta: Go on.
Denki: Uraraka's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it.
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: ^cries T_T^
Todoroki POV: Deku = femboy.
Deku POV: Todoroki = big 8=====D.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.
I have a son. Her name is Zara.
I also have a dad. Her name is Lydia.
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"