Anal jokes
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
My Asian girlfriend has a weird name. As I gave her anal, she was yelling "I'm too young."
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I only do anal, I thought you knew.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting "9"!
That’s the best I’ve done so far.
Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
Anal intercourse is for assholes.
Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?
Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.
Elsa got a boyfriend, and the boyfriend wanted to try anal.
She wasn't too keen, but she just lay back and shouted "INTO THE UNKNOWN!"
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.