Relationship jokes
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.
Your sister is your mother.
Your father is your brother.
You all shag one another.
The Inbred family.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
What’s the best part of having sex with a pregnant woman?
You can have sex and a blow job at the same time.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
A father came to his daughter's 18th birthday. He finally came.
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."