Relationship jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!

When an orphan takes a selfie, is that their family photo?

She really wanted a boner.

If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

He fell for her.

I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."

"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"

How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.

The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."

Why do orphans love tennis?

Because it is the only place they can get love.

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.

An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...

Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.

Plus, she's too young to smoke.

What is the orphan's version of a family portrait?

A selfie.

Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.

Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?

Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"