Yo mama!
Relationship Jokes
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!
Hey daddy *winky face*
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?
Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
Random couple after their first night:
Husband: It was very tasty. 🥵
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: Does anyone had taste it before?
Wife: ☠️
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
