Relationship jokes
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
What is the orphan's version of a family portrait?
A selfie.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
Why do orphans love tennis?
Because it is the only place they can get love.
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.
Plus, she's too young to smoke.
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
When an orphan takes a selfie, is that their family photo?
Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!
Why can’t orphans go to daughter and dad dance night? They don’t have a dad to go with.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
She really wanted a boner.