Relationship jokes

Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.

The orphan: But why?

Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.

Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!

Johnny, Johnny?

Yes, Papa?

Do you love me?

No, Papa.

#### you!

My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)

Me: I know, you always are...

The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."

My brother when he sees a girl.

Your mom and your dad.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.

Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

What's the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?

One is loved.

I want your cock in my rock bottom.

What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?

If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.

Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!

A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”

Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.

Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?

They always see a stepdad and stepsis.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

Yo mama!