Relationship jokes
Can't have a smoke with my girl after sex, she's asthmatic.
Plus, she's too young to smoke.
Why do orphans love tennis?
Because it is the only place they can get love.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
An orphan came out of the closet to their parents as gay. Oh wait...
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Official orgasm donor.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Your mom and your dad.
Helen Keller once dated a brick wall.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
Why do orphans make the best girlfriends?
Because they don't need permission from their parents.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.