Relationship jokes

Why do Indian guys never have gfs? Because they always pick curry and biryani over girls.

Both man and woman have balls, but they like to play with the ball of each other because a person always loves what they don't have. 😁

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Person: You suck!

Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Dad!

Dad who?

*Silence*

What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?

John fucked them both in the rear.

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.

What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?

“You got nice buns!”

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.

Why do some couples go to the gym together?

Because they want their relationship to work out.

Your sister is your mother.

Your father is your brother.

You all shag one another.

The Inbred family.

Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?

He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.

Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

What’s the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time.

What is black, white, and red all over?

My third wife.

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"

She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."

Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."

The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"

The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"

The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."