Relationship jokes
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
She really wanted a boner.
Why do orphans hate p*rn hub?
They always see a stepdad and stepsis.
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
My wife accused me of being immature, so I kicked her out of my "boys fort."
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Yo mama slept with so many guys she's starting to look like one.
A man and a boy were walking through a dark forest. The boy said, “I’m scared.” The man said, “Why are you scared? I’m the one who’s going to leave these woods alone.”
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
Bad handjobs are rare. They’re hard to come by.
Celebrating Mother's Day is confusing, says my cousin.
My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.