Defeat jokes
What can an Olympic runner do that Hitler can't?
Finish a race.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 馃槨馃槨馃槨
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale? Because they lost both towers.
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
Why is America bad at playing Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can鈥檛 defeat cancer!
Why is America bad at Clash Royale?
Because they can't defend their towers.
South's losing to Broncos. 馃樄
What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?
Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D
Technoblade can defeat every Minecraft player, but he still can't defeat cancer!
Why can't America play Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
How can Batman defeat the Joker? A: With a handful of sleeping pills.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don鈥檛 they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It鈥檚 not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"
What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)