Relationship jokes
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
I like my men like I like my Alexa:
By my bed and turned on.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?
In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
I love you.
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because its uncles were all aunts!
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
I was riding ya mom... LIKE SHE’S MARIO KART!
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?