Relationship jokes
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.
I love you.
Memes
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
I like your mom naked.
You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.
When you tell your friend he’s a simp and isn’t offended, say it stands for sucking intensely at monkeys' penises.
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Throw a plate.
It’s broken, right?
Say “sorry” to it.
Did it fix back?
No... that’s the same thing you did to me :)
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.