Relationship jokes

Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.

A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.

I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"

If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?

I love you.

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.

Why is the penis so light?

Because even thots can lift them.

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

Evan, yo mum rode on my big PP love, dad.

What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?

Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.

Why was the baby ant confused?

Because its uncles were all aunts!

What did the man's dick say to the man?

I just can't "hand"le it!

When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.

Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.

I like your mom naked.

How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?

"No, you hang yourself first..."

What’s the difference between a brick and redheads? Bricks get laid.