Relationship jokes
My friend is gay lol. I'm a spagetie fucc, lemme smash, Becky!
What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?
I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.
Your nan's gay.
"Yo mama so bad we gotta switch to yo papa."
Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?
Him: No, have you seen where it is?
Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.
Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they got nobody to call "daddy."
What is your name in my phone?
I love your house. I have been in your art for.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
I was making a bet with my grandfather about who would die first. I said that I would die first.
He said "Bet" and died after he drank his coffee.
He was my least favorite grandparent.
A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"
He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter. It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.