Two artists had an art contest. -- It ended in a draw.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want it won't chase you.
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings...he is being very brave about it though...he is totally unflappable
knock knock whos there, mustache, mustache who, i mustache you a question but, i'm shaving it for later
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down: TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY".OK!!!
fart jokes are so popular cause they are real stinkers
Chuck Norris and medusa had a staring contest medusa turned to stone
Do you want to hear a paper joke never mind itś tear-able
“ Wills “
Are they a dead give away !
Why were parts of the soviet union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2? They couldn't beet the Nazis. bud um ching
Do you want to hear a joke about Paper? Never mind its Tear-able
I did a walk today but I had a walk home from a walk walk today but it when
I went home one day a see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what going on my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guest what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
You moms so fat when she entered a fat contest that said sorry no professional
yo mama so ugly when she went to an ugly contest they told her "no pros aloud"
Yo mama so ugly when she tried to enter a ugly contest they said they didn't allow professionals.
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest they said they don't allow professionals.
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, „Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?“ Jon said, „I’d be half blind.“ „That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?“ „I’d be completely blind.“ The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, „What would happen if I cut off one ear?“ Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, „I’d be half blind.“ The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. „What if I cut off the other ear?“ „I’d be completely blind,“ Amanpreet answered. „Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?“ „My hat would fall down over my eyes.“