Contest jokes
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
I heard some twin brothers were going as buildings to the school costume contest, so I went as a plane. It didn't fly too well with people.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
I did a walk today, but I had a walk home from a walk. Walk today, but it when.
I took my 5 year old son to ride some roller coasters. I think he didn’t like it because I challenged him to a no hands contest.
He said, "But I don’t have any." He wanted to know what dark humor is. Now he knows what it is and what it feels like.
Yo mama's so stupid, she had a staring contest with a mirror.
GIVEAWAAAAAAY!!!
Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it? And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."
Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.