Contest jokes

Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.

I did a walk today, but I had a walk home from a walk. Walk today, but it when.

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.

What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?

DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!

I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.

Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”

Welp, that’s it.

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."

There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Anything you want; it won't chase you.

Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?

They couldn't beet the Nazis.

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.

Chuck Norris wins a staring contest. -- Against Medusa.

Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.

And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?

you.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Your mom is so ugly when she tried to enter the ugly contest, they said they don't allow professionals.