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Relationship

Relationship jokes

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

"Oh daddy," the kid said. "I love you so much!"

"Hey," the man responded. "Until we get the DNA test results, I'm just Harry to you!"

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone.

It’s either really terrible news or really great news.

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    • Me: Want to hear a joke?

    Friend: Sure.

    Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

    Friend: What's funny about that?

    Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

    How to give a good hand job?

    Bop it. Pull it. Twist it. Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger. You put your left hand in. You put your left hand out. You put your left hand in and shake it all about.

    None of you ever touch my penis.

    This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.

    My crush said that she would rather die than have sex with me... It turns out that she was lying.

    A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."

    When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"

    My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.

    When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

    "Enjoy the little things."

    Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.

    Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.

    Years later:

    Dad still did not come back.

    What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?

    You don't want your computer to go down on you.

    One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.

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