Muffin jokes

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"

The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"

Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?

'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.

Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

What did the cupcake tell its frosting?

I’d be muffin without you.

Two muffins are sitting in a bar.

The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."

The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.

"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."

Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Note to self.

When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".

Google "cream pie recipes".

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.

I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."