Psychology jokes
What does this website with its comments and a cult have in common?
We have a case of Witzelsucht.
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
Why did the orphan commit a crime?
Because they wanted to be wanted!
Depression is like therapy; the more you see it, the more you get used to it.
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Me: I'm afraid of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Me: [screams]
Therapist: Oh, I see.
Me: [screaming intensifies]
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
I'm like a rubber because people hit me as I can't feel.
The cure for depression is around the corner... There it is, the train.
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely?
Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.
SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.