Psychology jokes

What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?

An emo slits.

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.

What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

What's the difference between a bird and an emo?

Birds fly.

Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.

What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.

I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.