I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.
What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
