Psychology jokes

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?

An emo slits.

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.

What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.

Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?

POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.