Psychology jokes
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
What is the difference between a leaf falling from a tree and an emo falling from a tree?
The leaf falls to the ground, the emo just hangs there.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
Space therapist in between the e and the r.
The rapists!
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
People complain we are overpopulated.
Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
Remember, if you are suffering from paranoia...
You are not alone.
How do you help a constipated person?
You scare the shit out of them!
A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do not read it.
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.