Psychology jokes
I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t feel like screaming.
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
What is the similarity between depressed people and hoodies?
The color black.
What do you call a group of depressed people?
Suicide squad.
Real Pokémon.
Anxiety evolved into depression. Depression was the final stage evolution.
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.
I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.
What will make a depressed teenager happy?
A cliff.
How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.