Psychology jokes

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.

Why don't molestation victims speak up about their trauma? Because it's a touchy topic.

What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?

The rope.

Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.

Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.

Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

I asked a child where their parents were. They started to cry. I laughed and walked out of an orphanage.

Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.

What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.

This is how to die soft 101.

Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

How many emissions does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just sit in the dark and cry.

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.