Psychology jokes
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What falls quicker off a tree? The leaf or the emo?
The leaf, because the emo is stopped by the rope.
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
SEX Some Event Xaern
Xaern - loving something so much you begin to dislike it.
We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
What do you call a polar bear with mood swings?
A bipolar bear.
Lol
Why do orphans play GTA?
They want to be wanted.
Why can orphans travel so much?
They don't get homesick.
What is a group of depressed kids called? They are called the "Suicide Squad."
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
What's an orphan's least favorite meme? "Family."
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
(demons in my head) I laugh to meet them...