Psychology jokes
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
A man walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia.
The librarian whispers, "They're right behind you!"
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”
If an orphan took a picture, what would you call it? A family photo.
Memes
Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!
Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Why did the guy like retarded jokes? Because he was a retard himself.
COBRA GRINDSET OF THE DAY: Depression isn't real. You feel sad, you move on.
You will always be depressed if your life is depressing. Change it, bitch!
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
The bully: Your gay.
The nerd: You are.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: What, your gay?
Why do orphans hate going in public?
Because there's kids out with their parents.
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Autists either believe everything you tell them or are nonstop skeptics. There is no in-between.
A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.
"Kill yourself."
"Kill me yourself, pussy."
Why did the lil kid cut himself?
Answer: Because he was emo, HAHHHAHAHAHAAHHA!
What the fuck is wrong with people?