Democrat jokes
To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian that is a feminazi, a lesbian that is a progressive democrat, a promiscuous woman that is a lesbian prostitute working inside a lesbian brothel in San Francisco, California, and one of Jehovah's Witnesses?
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.
You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.
You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"
What do the initials "MAD" stand for?
Mothers Against Democrats.
The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
Why does the Democratic party want the Republican party to breed rabbits?
Because Democrats are tired of paying for raisins at the grocery store.
The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.
Black and bitter.
What do you call the United States of America under a Joe Biden presidency?
Answer: The Democratic People’s Socialist States of America. We're still America, just a different kind of America. And that’s no joke. 😔