Bush Jokes

Funny but sad.

I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you'll love. anyway...

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said "sure just dont look up". He looked up and said " woah what are those?". She replied " those are just headlights." He looked down and said "what is that?" She said that's just a bush." The next day mommy wasnt home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said "okay but don't look up." He looked up and said "woah what is that?" His papa replied "that's just a snake." Later that night he asked to sleep with his parents. They said "okay just dont look under the covers." After a while he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed "mom turn on the headlights the snake is in the Bush!!"

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One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks β€œWhat’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said β€œIt’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks β€œDaddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says β€œIt’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad β€œWhat does sexy mean?” And the dad says β€œYour mother, of course.” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says β€œYou’re so so sexy!”

Haha Names

How 9/11 Happened!:

Hey Bush, Truth or dare

1
Anonymous

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, "for the France!" And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, "long live the queen!" And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said "MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS"

Charles

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, β€œ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, β€œYou will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, β€œ There is no hope, you will die.”

6
Ilikeannoyingmyfriendswithjokes
in Annoying

3 men walk into heaven at the same time. they all live in the same city. god asks the first man "how did you die?" the man says "I have a heart condition and iv'e been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. anyway I get how from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hang of the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guys fingers! he falls into a bush so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man "how did you die?" the man says I was cleaning the windows and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! luckily I fall safely in a bush! but then a refrigerator falls on me!" god asks the third man he says" I was the one in the fridge!"

Mike

What do you call a couple mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.

Dirty dodds
in Little Johnny

Little jonny waked in on his mom in the shower and said what's that on your chest mom: those are my head lights oh what's that in between your legs mom: oh that's my bush jonny: oh OK next he waked in on his dad in the shower he said dad what's that in between your legs dad: oh that's my snake jonny: oh OK that night little jonny walks in on his parents going at it and said " mom turn on his head lights there's a snake Going in your bush

SK53
in Bob

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "The're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes."

Razor

I was walking in the forrest with my gf I had a desert eagle for protection A bear jumped out of the bushes one shot was enough to put my gf down and it gave me enough time to run away

Anonymous

Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street",

in Roast

The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, β€œfor the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, β€œlong live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said β€œMAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS”

Braxvon
in Little Johnny

One day little johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked what is that daddy. Dad"Oh that's my snake." The next day little johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and askes what is that mom says"that's my bushes" the next day Little johnny cant sleeps so he goes into his parents room and asks dad why is your snake going into moms bushes.

one day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy then they heard a sound from the bushes, instead of looking down they both ran.

two years later they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial they asked him if he has ever been caught he said "No but a couple was walking as soon as i killed a girl i jumped into a bush they didnt know i was there but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down then he and his girlfriend ran."

Anonymous
in Little Johnny

Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day, when suddenly Johnny said,"Mom I think I'm gonna throw up" Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there". Johnny comes back a minute later and his mom asks,"Did you make it?", then Johnny said,"No, but there was a box by the door that SAID For The Sick"

Reapermax3
in Gun

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a gun as well!" The guy was confused but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, β€œfor the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, β€œlong live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shotting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, "Well...sh!# that didn't go as planned."