America

Anonymous

Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

Trump

Anonymous

Donald: If I lose this election, I will leave the country.

Joe: Bi den

Puns

Not me

Who are voting for this election I’m voting for tricity so vote for tricity. Electricity!

Trump

RallyCat2004

I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It’s been awhile since the last presidential assassination…

Trump

twumpliker

========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -

"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump… what the fuck up with that dude, man ?

“Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !)

. . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that’s synonymous for bein’ fucked up, for instance …

STUMP : TEENY DICK

BUMP : TINY TIT

GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN’S DISEASE

LUMP : IF IT’S MALIGNANT, YOU’RE KINDA FUCKED

UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

RUMP : AN ASS

DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

PUMP : SEE “HUMP”

. . . and last, but definitely not least --

JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP VAT 'O SCAT MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO STRAIGHT TO
HELL BITCH !! …

    HA!HA!HA!HA !  YESSS !!

… well boys and girls, that’s gonna be about it for me, as I think my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a big turn for the worse !"

…(splort !, plop !, drip !) … OOOOPS ! ‘snif, snif’ …

                ..... ewwwwww !! 
                                               
         (audience growing uneasy and unruly)

"Fuhhk ! … I better go now , 'cause I just went ! … ha! ha! ha! … Yikes !!

GOOD NIGHT LAZIES, AND GERBILMEN ! PLEASE DRIVE RECKLESSLY !

                                 (curtain drops)

(continuous laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants peeing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin’, fists fuckin’, guns poppin’, blood pumpin’)

"OH LORDY !!.. I THINK HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH,

… AND ARMAGITTIN’ THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE !!"

(one very quick curtain call, and swiftly out the back door to an awaiting taxi … with ALL the windows rolled down) Whew ! … Amen.

Gun

USSR Soldier

During the election campaign of 2012 we heard about Obama but we fought they said Osama. So I told my friend grab his gun and lets have some fun. So during one of Obama’s campaign we both shot him to death, which lasted a while. Then my friend said “lets go get piz drunk at Mavericks bar”. Then on TV they talked about Obama death and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.

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