Hate Jokes

"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"

I’m not saying I hate you. But if you got hit by a bus I’d be driving that bus.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them...

But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?

Why do the japanese hate Christmas???

Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bull? nonsense?!?!

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabnet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabnet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going it to things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth now who is Faineni? Were is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABNET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULL SHIT!!!!!!!!

My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.

I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.


Sam is a kindergartener. One day, Sam’s teacher told him to learn the first few letters of the alphabet. Later that night, Sam asked his moody sister what the first letter of the alphabet was and she replied with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless...”. Sam then went up to his room and found his brother crying on the floor. Sam asked him what the next letter was. “I hate you!” said sam’s brother, so Sam left the room. Sam went to his mom and asked her what the third letter was. “You stupid f*****” his mom yelled at him. So Sam went to ask his Grandpa what the fourth letter is and his grandpa didn’t reply, so Sam went to bed.

The next day, Sam’s teacher called on him to tell the class what the first letter is and he answered with “Oh what’s the point. Life is meaningless...” and the teacher sent him to the school counselor. As he left the room, he yelled at his teacher “I hate you!”

As Sam arrived at the counselors office she said she had called his parents and they wanted him to be safe and locked up in a padded cell. “You stupid f*****” Sam screamed as he heard the ambulance sirens getting nearer. As the ambulance drove away, Sam, in his straight jacket, was silent.


i hate when i lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. where do i lose my friends from Afghanistan? in an explosion