I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you, I hope Scotland gets freedom I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
Dying mall be like...
Toys were us
Goodbye kitty
Dying Canes
What is long and not hairy??
The congo line in the cancer department
my departed uncle was a circus clown before he died
so all his friends came in one car
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she want’s to change, but when she see a knife she just can’t help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
So I bus crashes killing everyone on the bus and god feels so bad that he gives each one a wish so the first person comes up and she wants to be beautiful so god makes her beautiful and she goes into heaven next person comes up and he says I want to be beautiful as well as the last man in the back begins laughing a little so this goes on everyone becoming beautiful until god asked the last person what they want and he said I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again! so god had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted
People often ask me what I would do for a klondike bar well I straight up put 5 hijackers on flight 175 before it departed from logan airport at 8:14a.m. on September 11 2001
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"
Can people please shut up about 'male privileges'. There is no right that men have that women don't.
Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.
Women have the right to choose parenthood, men do not.
Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.
Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.
Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.
Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.
Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of “women only” events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us)
Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas
Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.
Women have the right to domestic violence shelters
Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic depute
Women have the right to rape a man or boy and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy they can sue him for child support.
So it is women who have more rights.
So shut up feminists please.
Me sees crazy man hit a old poor person me dials 911 police:what is that location me:idk where is dis location police:mission failed we will try again later me:wth police:ends call me:calls hospital hospital:what is that location me:idk where is dis location hospital:mission failed we will try again later me:WTH IS HAPPENDS EVERY TIME NOW EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE hospital:hangs up me:calls fire dEpArTmEnT fire:no fire dEpArTmEnT:what is that location me:hangs up and give up and goes home
