Politics jokes
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
My favorite sex position is the JFK:
I splatter all over her as she screams and tries to get out of the car.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
What's the difference between Canada and the USA?
In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.
In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
What's George Floyd's newest song?
"I can't breathe."
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?
Just take out his brain and there you go!
Eugenics is Hitler-like and, more importantly, feminist thinking.
Why does America suck at chess? Because they already lost their two towers.
Got kidnapped in Iran. Luckily, I ran.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.