Politics jokes

Why does America suck at chess? Because they already lost their two towers.

What did the Brit say to the American?

Well here comes fascism.

What hates men but would have no life without men?

A triggered feminist.

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

"Maga be like Antifa invaded Ukraine, but I thought Antifa was Russia, you dumb Maga chuds!"

Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?

No, what happened?

He couldn’t stop pootin!

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

Yo mama is Obama.

A dead Russian is Trump's accountant.

Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...

Trump: What's UpNigga?

Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!

MAGAnon STOP SCAMING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.

Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.

What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?

The 2028 US election.

There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.

What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.

What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.

A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...

"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"

Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."

"Oh, right. How's it going?"

"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."

"Wow! What about NATO?"

"They haven't turned up yet."

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?

They lower you.

How does Hitler tie his shoes?

Into little Nazis.