Q. What's the difference between Trump and a piece of shit? A. Shit isn't orange.
Politics Jokes
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
Ukraine.
Most controversial types of matter:
1. Dark matter 2. Anti-matter 3. Black Lives Matter.
If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.
Why can't America play chess?
They're already missing 2 towers.
What do you get if you cross Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? A blonde n1gger cunt.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
JFK
Half is definitely a bottom.
What did the trumpet say to Trump?
"Hi, fellow trumpet!"
My friend is blind.
So he always says he cannot Nazi.
