Politics jokes
Why are Putin and Zelensky neighbors?
Apparently, a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
Obama: It smells like UpNigga in here...
Trump: What's UpNigga?
Obama: Omg did you say the n word?? Die!!!
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
Trump, just why?
Memes
Shitpost-master general
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
MAGAnon STOP SCAMING FOR THE SAKE OF LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
What is a card carrying lesbian feminist?
A carpet muncher who is a card carrying member of the National Organization For Women.
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
I'm offended.
- Liberals
I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.
The things you do for your cousins!
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
There are three people in a plane that is about to crash: Trump, Obama, and a nine-year-old girl, but only two parachutes. Obama says, "Oh my, I need one. I need to protect my family," so he jumps off! Trump says, "Oh, I am the smartest man in the world. I must take it," so he jumps off. The nine-year-old girl says, "Welp, I guess he took my school backpack" :) so she leaves the plane! What a good ending.
What does Donald Trump say when he declares war? Nuke them.
What does a pervert say when he declares war? Nude them.
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
Biden: See you later, alligator!
Alligator: In a while, pedophile.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.