Physics jokes

Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.

At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.

What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.

Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?

It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

What did the neutron say to the atom?

"Sandwiches, dude!"

Stephen Hawking can pass any test, but there's one test he can't pass. It is the PACER test.

What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.

An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first?

The leaf, because the emo got caught by the rope.

Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!

What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?

Hard shoulder.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.

I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.

What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.

What season is it when you're on a trampoline?

Spring time!

What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?

Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.

What’s black and at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.