Physics jokes
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids.
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
Your forehead's so big that it has its own gravitational pull.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it had its ion someone else.
What is Stephen Hawking's least favorite movie?
Standing Tall.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.