Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
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Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?
Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
If the sun is in space, then why is there light on Earth, but not in space?
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Why did the Ice Cube complain about being so warm? Because he was dropped on the floor.
The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.
Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?
'Cause he had a screw loose!
You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.
How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree. Which one hits the ground first? The apple, cuz the noose stops her.
You know how Stephen is smart, which class did he skip?
Leg day.
He drove too far away from the wall, and the cord unplugged.
