Physics jokes
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's restrooms?
Because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't receive a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall.
How do stars get their name?
By a black hole because it's sueeeee!
Look behind you, there is Stephen Hawking.
Nobody.
When I wear all black, I'm not emo. I'm a rainbow, 'cause I'm wearing all the colors. #Science
You're so skinny the world turns to the left!
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
Why haven't they put Stephen Hawking in charge yet?
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
I was bullying Stephen Hawking. I told him, "Why not stand up for yourself?"
Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar... Ha!
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
What is Stephen Hawking's best side?
The left.
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.