Physics jokes
It's so sad that Stephen Hawking has a whole category on here about him and he can't stand up for himself.
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?
Sex worker.
Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?
Don’t worry, he didn’t either.
Stairs.
Stephen Hawking can't stand stairs.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
*Windows turning off*
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!
What's Stephen Hawking called on fire?
Hot Wheels :)
Why do so many kids love boomerangs? Because they always come back.
If a gay male is married to a well-endowed, physically challenged gay male that has been sleeping in bed for three hours nonstop, and he wants him to wake up so he can fix him his morning breakfast, how does he wake him up?
Wake up sleeping Jesus by giving him a blowjob.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
What’s black and at the top of a stair case?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
What did the neutron say to the atom?
"Sandwiches, dude!"
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!