Physics jokes
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
It's true, you know. Stephen Hawking has been up more ramps than Evel Knievel.
I threw a boomerang years ago. Now I live in constant fear.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
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What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
What has 4 wheels, 2 legs, and loves his shoulder?
Stephen Hawking.
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything.
Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!
What do priests and doctors have in common?
They both do physicals on kids.
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)
-Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!
-LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA
Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?
Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽