Physics jokes

Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.

You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, she sinks!

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

Oops!

Why do physically disabled gay men like performing blowjobs on well-endowed, abled-bodied gay men?

Because physically disabled gay men prefer eating pepperoni than eating sausage links for dinner 🍽

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.

Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.

20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.

How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)

3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)

Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?

If you throw water over them, they both die...

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

Because of gravity.

Why did Bob fall? Because gravity was mad at him.

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar...

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh, wait, he doesn’t walk.

Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?

Well, I just can't seem to put it down.

Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?

Computers don’t really have a specific religion.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?

Deja Vu.

Stephen Hawking is the fastest footballer ever--he could just charge up the Left Wing!

MAN 1) Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

MAN 2) No.

MAN 1) Neither did he.

Stephen Hawking's last words were, "Ethernet cable not detected, shutting down."