Otherness jokes

Emo kid

How did the emo kid compliment the other emo kid? He said, "I like your cuts G."

Difference

What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!

Baby

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

Emo

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

Orphan

Hey, this is to orphans:

"Orphans are ugly. We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am I and orphans rly are ugly!!!!"

Memes

Nut

What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"

Light

Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?

A: Stop looking, I’m changing!

Counselor

My grief counselor died the other day.

He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

Lipstick

The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

Asphalt

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

Foot

What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?

A meter stick.

Friend

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

Helicopter crash

In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?

Bee

What did one bee say to the other bee?

"I love you, honey!"

Answer

You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!

The other person: Who?

You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.

Ocean

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. It just "waved!"