Otherness jokes

There are only 2 things I hate in this world:

1. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures. 2. The French.

Abortion is a difficult topic for me.

One hand I support it because it kills children.

On the other hand, it gives women a choice.

What's the difference between Michael Joseph Jackson and Richard Pryor?

One was burned by Pepsi. The other burned by coke. Richard Pryor married and had kids, and Michael Joseph Jackson molested kids.

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

I'm so good at talking to myself but not to others.

What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?

A pillow fight.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.

When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?

So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'

I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?

One is a tool. The other is your mom.

Why is the Z the only politically correct letter?

Because all the other letters are not Z's.

"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"

My son is broken: "I think at home!"

Happiness!

I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.