I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
Otherness Jokes
My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.
One was just a plane tortilla.
The other one was also just a plane tortilla.
And the third one went to the wrong address.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?
One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
