Otherness jokes

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?

The black one... he's 13!

What did one twin say to the other?

"Watch out for the plane!"

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

One is a superhero, and the other is a simple command.

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.

It was impossible to put down.

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

Why did the rapper cross the road?

To drop some STREET KNOWLEDGE on the other side.

The boys joking be like:

One guy: "Balls!"

All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

Why is football the gayest sport ever? Because it's just a bunch of sweaty men tackling each other.

You know why eggs can't tell jokes?

They crack each other up!

My grief counselor died the other day.

He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"

Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!

P.S., it's Jake.