One jokes

Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?

That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

I went to the store and I saw no oranges, and I went to ask the cashier:

"Cashier: Which one?"

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.

Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"

A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.

One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."

What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?

One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.

You are adopted.

No cap. No one loves you.

Bye.

What's the difference between a dick and a rock?

One's hard.

Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?

I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.

My dad was one hell of a pilot.

Grandpa was a hell of a planner.

Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."

What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?

Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.

When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣

Why is an orphan good at being naughty?

Because they don't have no one to tell them off.

One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"

The other said, "Do you have that many?"

So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!

"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.