Today was a bad day, their was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it

What is the bus 🚎

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won’t eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her “nice try”.

What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.

Peanut butter 🧈

What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?

Peanut Butter n Jealousy! 😂

I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter. But i decited i didn’t want to spread it

Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?

Actually I shouldn’t spread it.

One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, “Just because you killed the butterfly, you don’t get butter for a week.” They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, “Nice try.”

Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.

one day I came to my mom and said “MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!”

mom: “no you can’t…”

me: throws butter out the window me: “look I made a butterfly!”

lol this isn’t funny but I hope you liked it

My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter

My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.

She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.

My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed. Father: son you can do butter

What did the bread say to the peanut butter? I think your nuts