Butter jokes

What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?

Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!

My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week. She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.

Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."

Peanut butter 🧈?

Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."

Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.

I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

Mom: "No you can't..."

Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"

lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.

Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.

Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".

Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.

I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.

Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?

Actually, I shouldn't spread it.

Did you hear the rumors about butter?

Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.

I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.

Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?

A: He wanted to see a butterfly.