Today was a bad day, their was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Peanut butter 🧈
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?: They both spread for bread
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it
I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter. But i decited i didn’t want to spread it
one day I came to my mom and said “MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!”
mom: “no you can’t…”
me: throws butter out the window me: “look I made a butterfly!”
lol this isn’t funny but I hope you liked it
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n Jealousy! 😂
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually I shouldn’t spread it.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won’t eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her “nice try”.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, “Just because you killed the butterfly, you don’t get butter for a week.” They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, “Nice try.”
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.
She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee, his dad sees this and says “i saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks.” Johnny replies “i don’t care, i don’t like honey anyway.” About fifteen minutes later little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says " i saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little johnny replies “I don’t care, i don’t like butter anyway.” Both little johnny and his dad go in for dinner, johnny’s mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. little johnny looks and smiles and says “do you want to tell her or should i?”
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? I think your nuts