Today was a bad day, their was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Peanut butter 🧈
I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter. But i decited i didn’t want to spread it
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when i saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that as a punishment, she won’t eat butter for 1 month. Today i saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her “nice try”.
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n Jealousy! 😂
one day I came to my mom and said “MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!”
mom: “no you can’t…”
me: throws butter out the window me: “look I made a butterfly!”
lol this isn’t funny but I hope you liked it
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually I shouldn’t spread it.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, “Just because you killed the butterfly, you don’t get butter for a week.” They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, “Nice try.”
My mom has a policy where if you kill a butterfly, no butter for a week, and if you kill a grub, no grub for a week.
She killed a cockroach today. I have some bad news for her.
My Smoothie Ingredients -Bananas -Strawberry -The Blood of my ex -Peanut Butter
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee, his dad sees this and says “i saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks.” Johnny replies “i don’t care, i don’t like honey anyway.” About fifteen minutes later little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says " i saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little johnny replies “I don’t care, i don’t like butter anyway.” Both little johnny and his dad go in for dinner, johnny’s mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. little johnny looks and smiles and says “do you want to tell her or should i?”
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? I think your nuts
My mom is the jelly and my dad is the peanut butter And I am the bread the only thin keeping them together.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed. Father: son you can do butter