A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?
One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.
You are adopted.
No cap. No one loves you.
Bye.
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
Why is an orphan good at being naughty?
Because they don't have no one to tell them off.
One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"
The other said, "Do you have that many?"
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a beat!
Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"
Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅
