Devil jokes
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the devil read the Bible.
Your mama is so ugly, she makes the devil cry.
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.
I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.