Construction

Construction jokes

Family

    • A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.

    One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.

    Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

    At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

    When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."

    "Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

    The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"

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    • Woman

    • Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

    My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

    Pontypool is rough.

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    • Construction memes

    Sign

    • I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.

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    • Baby

    • How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

    Depends on how hard you throw them.

    Asphalt

    • A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”