Construction Jokes

Anonymous
in Sandwich

3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”

6
Anonymous
in Sexism

How many screws does it take to construct a lesbians bed? None, it’s all tongue and groove…

sans
in Puns

I would tell you a construction pun, but I’m still working on it

2
PegasusNotFound

Hey wanna hear a construction joke? Other person: Yes Sorry, I’m still working on it! 😅

Anonymous
in Puns

I have a really good construction joke : But I’m still working on it

Anonymous

want to hear a joke about construction sorry im still working on it

Anonymous
in Screw

What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?, screw you

VVVVVVita
in Puns

Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it

Anonymous
in Puns

I have a really good construction joke but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it

cameron belchik

“wanna hear a construction joke” “yeah sure” “wait im still working on it”

Anonymous

U wanna hear a construction joke? I’m still workin on it!😂

im gay

wanna hear a construction joke. nah i’m still working on it.

Anonymous
in Puns

I have a joke about construction.

I’m still working on it.

Allan C.

Well, we started off by ripping up ALL of the decking…

Abandon ship!

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew tumed up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family’s 5.year.old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and ll spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. 'mey chatted with her, let her slt with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little lobs to do here and there to make her feel Important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a poy envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $1 0 'pay ’ to the bank the next day to start a savings account When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally Impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, ‘l worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.’ ‘Oh, my goodness gracious,’ said the teller, ‘and will you be working on the house again this week, too?’ The little girl replied, 'l will, it those assholes at Lowe’s ever deliver the tucking sheet rock ’

Moose
in Puns

Hey wanna hear a construction joke? -sure Oh sorry I’m still working on it :-]

LuckeBÖÖI
in Puns

Do u want to hear a joke about a construction? Sorry still working on it!

SnowyHeart
in Puns

i had some puns about construction but im still workin on em

Subject Frans Comedy

these are all of my terrible jokes

Two antennas met on a roof, they fell in love and got married. The ceremony was alright but the reception was amazing A jumper cable walks into a bar and the bartender said "I’ll serve you but don’t start anything A dyslexic man walks into a bra Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says "does this taste funny to you, I’m joking of course" Dejamoo: the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident and said to the doctor “I can’t feel my legs” the doctor said " I know, I AMPUTATED YOUR ARMS" I went to seafood disco last week, I pulled a muscle What do you call a fish with no eyes, a fsh Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one says "dam" A mystic dwarf escapes from a jail, the call went out of a "small medium at large" A man walks into a bar with solid tar under his arm, he says "a beer please,and one for the road" Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The p is silent YO MAMA SO FAT THAT she should be worried, diabetes is a serious problem What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, duh A priest a rabbi and a cleric walk into a bar, the cleric, due to his religious constructions, does not drink alcohol. The others do the same, they have a pleasant fun and nothing bad happens. What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. I remember the last words my grandad said before he kicked the bucket, how far do you think I can kick this bucket A man walks into a bar, his alcohol independence is pulling this family apart I like my coffee like my women, on sometimes with a penis A man is working at a bar, a money comes in and orders a banana martini. The man wakes up and tells his story to his wife, he is ignored and he turns around sobbing. His marriage is falling apart Why didn’t Jesus play hockey? Soccer and baseball are more popular in Mexico What’s green and has wheels? Grass, the wheels WERE A LIE. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have wheels except the duck Why couldn’t the dinosaur break the wall, I don’t know. I’m asking you Why did the old woman put rainbow roller skates on her walker, she has dementia There are an owl and a squirrel watching a farmer go by, they owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing. It’s an owl it can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey

Anonymous
in NASA

Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell/ properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense

Anonymous
in Orphan

what do you call an orphan at a construction site?

child labor