One jokes
Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
What is one thing humans do before they eat?
They beat their meat to make nuggets.
What's the difference between a dick and a rock?
One's hard.
Memes
You are adopted.
No cap. No one loves you.
Bye.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?
One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.
A science teacher got on the Space Shuttle Challenger after winning a contest out of 11,000 other teachers.
Imagine being one of the losing teachers in that contest, watching the Space Shuttle Challenger, and thinking, "Talking about dodging a bullet!"
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
So an emo shot themselves, and so the detective decides to ask why, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?
That one friend: 11 - T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What has two legs, two arms, one dead and covered in red?
My ex-wife.
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
No one will fight me, who is brave and strong enough to beat this beta simp femboy?
Which way do gay men walk?
One Direction.