One jokes

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?

One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?

It's a motherfucking shitshow party!

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.

I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...

Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)

What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"

Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?

He kept throwing away the bent ones!

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."

His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."

Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"

One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.

Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.

What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.

What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

People actually have a use for one of them.