One jokes
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
Memes
Whatâs 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
Whatâs one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?
"Where are the kids?"
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yesâthe others were 7's and 8's.
Whatâs the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
Whatâs one thing women need to know nowadays?
Their place.
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day Iâm driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
Life is like a bag of jellybeans.
Nobody likes the black ones.
Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!
The boys joking be like:
One guy: "Balls!"
All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.