One jokes

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?

One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates.

How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?

Turn it upside down.

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.

One morning I saw three kids were bullying one other kid because they didn't have a dad...

Later that day the three same kids were walking toward an orphanage. :)

Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.

Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!

A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?

It's a motherfucking shitshow party!

"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)

A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one."

The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

What did one emo say to another emo... "Rock it out!"

Why is the orphan sad for dinner?

He has no one to eat with at the table.

If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

Why are uncles like curries?

Because bad ones hurt your asshole.

Friend 1: Did you?

Depressed friend 2: I didn't!

Friend one: Swear on your life!

Depressed friend 2: I swear.

A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.