One jokes
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, he said when he found out his parents split up and he is being adopted.
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
Memes
When I hotline bling, I only need one thing.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What did the two towers make after they died? The One World Trade Center.
Before you leave that marriage, remember that one innocent 🐐 goat was killed for your traditional marriage. 😔
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
Friend 1: Did you?
Depressed friend 2: I didn't!
Friend one: Swear on your life!
Depressed friend 2: I swear.
A week later friend 2 dropped dead to their utter delight.
Which one will fall from the tree first, the leaves or the emo?
The emo doesn't fall.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.
(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.