One jokes

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.

A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.

One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Yo mamma's so fat no one was laughing, but the ground was cracking up.

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

Give them a Sandy Hook.

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped.

What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?

Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.

What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?

One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.

Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.

Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?

Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.

Man: Shit!

Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?

Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.

What’s one thing you can say during a family dinner and in bed?

"Where are the kids?"