One jokes
Your momma so fat when she stepped on one scale, it broke. When she got another one, it said "TBC." She looked in the mirror, it broke.
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes. My uncle died in 9/11...
He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
Memes
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
Why will the orphan never say, "Honey, I'm home?"
No one wants him, not even the bees.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and the Leaning Tower of Pizza?
One held its balance, the other two fell.
The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"
When does a pentagon have 4 sides?
When a plane is in one of the sides.
What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?
People actually have a use for one of them.
Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
One does not simply hand over a jar of dirt.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn’t know back-to-school sales had started already!
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?
Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."