Object jokes
You know why orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their parents.
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
Yo mama so stupid, she put a ruler under a pillow to see how long she slept.
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?
- A baseball bat.
The Mathew scale
Shocker
I think we all know where this is going
I found the most UGLY people (the circled ones)
Community talk
ADMIRE MY STICK
A black hole is a region in space where gravity is so strong that nothing, not even light, can escape from it, usually forming when a massive star collapses under its own gravity at the end of its life. The boundary around it is called the event horizon, and once anything crosses this boundary, it cannot return. Black holes are mainly described by their mass, spin, and electric charge, and they come in several types,… Read more
I'm gathering the pieces people had broken off of me. I'm rebuilding my self, a new hope in my eyes. I will strive to my military dreams. To my career. To my lover, My other. For my friends. Dor my future children. I want nothing bad to them ever. I will keep working hard. fixing myself. I am not an object to break and rebuild, neither are you. You are important too, strive for success long enough. It never comes eas… Read more