Object Jokes

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

What objects have the most gravitational force. A lambo and a gold digger

what is a fish with no eyes? A fsh!!!!!!!

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?

Reload and keep shooting.

What did the rope say to me?

"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"

I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.

What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.

What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?

- A baseball bat.

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do you call a swimming terrorist?

A bath bomb.

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.