Distortion jokes

Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.

1 like = 1 more child in my blender.

You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll.

I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.

What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.