Object jokes
Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.
what was sally's role in a football game? the football ;-;
What’s the difference between a dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
Penis, neck, rope?
I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What is blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
How do you get 500 dead babies into a car?
A blender.
How do you get 500 dead babies out of a car?
A straw.
What do cutting boards and a suicidal teen's wrist have in common?
They both have cutting marks.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
To make tea, road, road, road, road.
Case.
The space of space, Der der.
The chosen week was chosen.
Object.
Der mezzer lakes.
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
What is brown and sticky? A stick!
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.