Object jokes

Your mama is so stupid, she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept.

Why would doors do well on social media?

Everyone looks for their handles.

Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.

Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.

In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.

Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.

A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.

A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"

The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"

What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?

You can't fuck a rock.

How do you fit a baby in a glass?

A blender.

How do you get it out?

Explosives!

A fan gave another fan a blowjob.

How do you get a blonde to drown?

Stick a mirror at the bottom of a pool.

Me and bro talking about direct objects at 1 a.m. because we don’t know English.

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would only have one dollar because women are objects and men are superior.

I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"

I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.

Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.

H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:

Penis, neck, rope?

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how many you throw.

Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.

What has a head, a tail, but no body?

What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.

What's the difference between a dick and a rock?

One's hard.

What is the difference between a laser beam and a trash can?

A trash can doesn't rage.