What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Object Jokes
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!
What is red and shaped like a bucket?
A red bucket.
What is similar between a ton of kids and some boxes?
Both of those are commonly found in basements.
When is a door not a door?
When it is ajar.
What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?
The boomerang comes back.
I ate a watch once... it was time-consuming.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
I would tell a clock joke, but I don't have time.
"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
A pool table.
Sally has no arms. She fell off the swing. Why? Someone threw a fridge at her. AAHAHAAAHHAHAH!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
