I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
Dumber Than a Rock
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Alright, listen up, buttercup. This joke is saying you're so dumb that even a rock is smarter than you. And rocks ain't exactly rocket scientists, ya know? They just sit there. But hey, at least they can hold a door open, which is apparently more than you can do, according to this joke. Ouch! You must be really, really dumb.