Object jokes
I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
I love still things.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"
Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?
Me: The boomerang came back.
What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?
The boomerang comes back.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
Dads are like boomerangs, I hope.
What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid?
The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.