Object jokes
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
I love still things.
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
Memes
Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?
The boomerang comes back.
Orphan: Asks you random joke. What is the difference between my boomerang and my parents?
Me: The boomerang came back.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!