Object jokes
What do you call a cute door? A-door-able!
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
I love still things.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
Playing a game called 7-Up.
Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?
Teacher: It's cheating!
Student: No! It's the object of the game.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
What hit the ground first, a feather or the emo kid?
The feather, because the emo kid was left hanging.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!
Dads are like boomerangs, I hope.
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.