Nice Jokes

Gwen why are u so nice?

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.

"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing but one sounds like a threat

if I told u, u had a nice body would u hold it against me.

Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of tittys.

Me: Hey how are you? Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3 Insomnia: Mommy can we get a home? Anxiety: Insomnia wait for mommy to finish. Depression: Anyway here is my resume! Me: Okie thank you, Ok... mhmmm.. WOW! Okie this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it..) Depression: Also I have 2 more friends that want to move in too! Me: Ok and there names? Depression: There names are: PTSD and Trauma! Me: Ok they seem fine (Doesn't know about them) Depression: Okie here is the money (a penny :() Thank you we will call you if we need anything. Me: Ok see you soon! :3 Me now hates my life. :)

its only ok to beat up an dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say your hair smells nice

I got a roommate, he killed a butterfly and I said no butter for a week, the next day he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch nice try

I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said “NICE CUT G”

What did the 0 say to the 8? -- Nice belt.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so i cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand im glad to help

orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you. She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.

my mom told me to make my dad smile and she will give me $100, so i said ''the cowboys are gonna win the superbowl'' he smiled but my mom didn't give it to me, anyways i forgot about my package coming and the mailman came and i said ''i like your hat teal looks nice on you'' and he smiled and my mom gave me $100.